The world of leadership is filled with myths that do a great job of holding us back. Over my years in leadership development and executive coaching, I’ve seen them all—from the belief that leaders are born, not made, to the idea that real leaders never make mistakes (spoiler alert: they’re human too, so of course they do!). Let’s have a look at some of the common myths and then let’s get real about what it means to be an effective leader.
Myth: Great Leaders Are Born, Not Taught
Let’s Get Real: Contrary to popular belief, leaders aren’t born with an instruction manual or some secret formula the rest of us don’t have. Leadership development is a skill that’s crafted through experiences, learnings, and a good deal of patience. In my years of executive coaching, I’ve seen people from all walks of life grow into effective leaders, often surprising themselves in the process. Leadership is about developing empathy, learning how to communicate effectively, and figuring out how to motivate and inspire those around you.
Myth: Leaders Know Everything
Let’s Get Real: There is no-one that can claim to know everything, so leaders who claim they do are likely on a fast track to a downfall. This is where the “Knowing Yourself” chapter from my book, Let’s Get Real, comes in. Understanding your strengths and your blind spots becomes essential in leadership development. I’ve found through executive coaching that leaders who embrace lifelong learning and hire people better than themselves tend to inspire their teams the most. Skilled leaders understand the value of delegating tasks wisely, listening, and gathering insights from others to make well-informed decisions.
Myth: Leaders Must Always Be Serious
Let’s Get Real: If this was a requirement for effective leadership development, I’d have been out of the game long ago. Humour is a powerful, and oftentimes underestimated, leadership tool. In tense situations or long meetings, a well-timed joke can break the ice, make people feel more comfortable, encourage engagement, and even improve team dynamics. In my book, I share how I use humour in all kinds of settings to connect with others, keep the energy up, and make tough topics more digestible. Leaders often mistakenly think they need to be stoic to be taken seriously, but that just drains the life out of the workplace. By keeping things light and showing a more human side, you can create an atmosphere where people feel comfortable speaking up, sharing ideas, and even admitting mistakes. It turns out that humour not only makes us more relatable but also builds trust.
Myth: Leaders Shouldn’t Need Coaching
Let’s Get Real: Even the most experienced leaders benefit from outside guidance. If top athletes like Simone Biles need coaches to reach their peak, why wouldn’t leaders? Executive coaching offers leaders a chance to step back, gain perspective, and receive honest, constructive feedback. It’s exciting to see how much room there is for growth. I’ve seen leadership development skyrocket when leaders embrace executive coaching as a tool for uncovering blind spots, challenging biases, and unlocking their full potential.
Myth: Leadership Means Controlling Everything
Let’s Get Real: True leadership isn’t about controlling every detail; it’s about empowering your team to excel in their roles. Through my experiences in leadership development, I’ve learned that when leaders trust their teams and delegate responsibly, it fosters accountability and innovation. Early on in my career, I used to over-delegate, because I said Yes to everything and I hadn’t learnt the hard lessons of delegation yet. I was left red-faced more than once when one of my team members clearly did not execute the task on hard and this reflected poorly on me, as the leader is ultimately accountable. In my executive coaching, I often help leaders refine their delegation skills, and I also provide some coaching tips around this topic in Let’s Get Real.
Myth: Position Determines Leadership
Let’s Get Real: Sure, a title might give you a fancy email signature, but it doesn’t automatically make you a leader. True leadership development isn’t about collecting job titles; it’s about the influence you bring, the impact you create, and the inspiration you offer to others. Respect is earned through actions—stepping up, offering solutions, and genuinely supporting your team. So, instead of relying on a title, rather focus on showing up in ways that matter.
Myth: Leaders Don’t Make Mistakes
Let’s Get Real If you think leaders are immune to slip-ups, let’s clear that up right now. Every leader has had their share of “learning moments” (also known as blunders). Early in my career, I realised the importance of owning my mistakes. Was it uncomfortable at first? Absolutely. But did it make me a stronger leader? Without a doubt.
Through executive coaching, I’ve seen how powerful it can be when leaders acknowledge their mistakes. It sets a tone of openness and learning, creating a culture where everyone feels safe to grow and learn from their missteps. After all, leadership development is about resilience and learning from experiences, not about being perfect.
Myth: Leaders Are Loud and Always Speak First
Let’s Get Real: True leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room; it’s about creating space for others to be heard. Great leaders know that they don’t need to dominate the conversation. In fact, they often choose to speak last, a quality famously practiced by Nelson Mandela. By listening first, they gather different perspectives, understand their team’s ideas, and make well-rounded decisions. There’s a misconception that leaders must be extroverts who fill every silence with words, but some of the most powerful leaders know the art of the well-timed pause. Through executive coaching, I’ve worked with leaders who have learned to step back, listen, and gather perspectives before weighing in. Leadership development often involves knowing when to speak and when to hold back, and it’s far more satisfying to wrap up the discussion with a thoughtful, “Aha!” moment than to be the first to speak.
Myth: Real Leaders Have to Be “Always On”
Let’s Get Real: Contrary to popular belief, good leaders don’t have to sacrifice their personal lives on the altar of productivity. In fact, setting healthy boundaries and knowing when to switch off can make you a better, more effective leader. I’ve seen clients struggle with guilt over taking a holiday or even a weekend off, worried that time away makes them appear “lazy.” But here’s the thing: you can’t lead well if you’re running on empty, and trying to do so is just a fast track to burnout.
Knowing yourself—and your limits—is a cornerstone of effective leadership development. When you’re clear on your values and boundaries, you’re not only a happier person but also a more resilient leader. As I often say in my coaching sessions, modelling balance and self-care isn’t “slacking”; it’s showing your team that they’re allowed to have lives outside of work too.
Conclusion
These myths can be hard to shake, but effective leadership is about breaking away from these misconceptions and embracing a more authentic approach. Real leadership isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being genuine, showing empathy, and always striving to grow. So, the next time you’re faced with a leadership challenge, remember: you don’t need to be a mythical “perfect leader.” You just need to be real.
