I’ve delivered my popular talk on “Discovering and Living Your Values” to hundreds of professionals in the UAE. Most are smart, hardworking people. Many are miserable. And many don’t know why.
But once they identify their core values (eg freedom, respect, growth, honesty) it’s like a light bulb switches on. The room goes quiet.
Then, without fail, the toughest question comes:
“But what if my boss -or my company-doesn’t share my values? What do I do then? Just quit?”
It’s a fair question. And not an easy one. Especially in cultures like in South Asia where quitting is seen as weakness, where you’re told to be grateful for your job, where people are expected to adjust, obey, and stay silent.
So let me walk you through how I answer this without telling you to quit your job tomorrow and start a food truck (unless that’s really your thing).
Step 1: Is This Really a Values Clash?
Not everything that feels bad is a values conflict.
Let’s say your boss micromanages. You value autonomy. You’re annoyed. You think: “We’re incompatible. My values are being violated. I must escape.”
Hold on.
Are your core values being stomped on, or is this just an irritating habit that can be managed?
In my case, I once had a CEO who would call me at 11 PM to review board slides. I hated it. But I didn’t quit because of that. I quit because the company valued politics and flattery over performance and integrity—and I couldn’t live with that anymore. That’s a values issue.
So ask yourself: Is this situation uncomfortable- or unacceptable?
Step 2: Can You Live Your Values in Small Ways?
Most people imagine “living your values” means quitting corporate life, moving to Bali, and becoming a yoga instructor named Omkar.
But often, you can live your values without changing your job, just by changing how you show up.
Let’s take some examples.
- You value growth → Sign up for that course your company is paying for but no one uses. Find a mentor. Read for 20 minutes a day.
- You value freedom → Block calendar time where no one can disturb you. Say no to meetings that serve no purpose.
- You value impact → Volunteer to fix a broken process. Train a new joiner. Launch that long-delayed project.
I once coached a woman who worked in a bureaucratic, old-school bank. She felt stifled. But when she started leading CSR projects and mentoring younger employees, she lit up again. Her job didn’t change but how she worked did.
You may not be able to change the culture. But you can create a little island where your values live and breathe.
Step 3: Try a Respectful, Direct Conversation
I know, I know. This one is hard. Especially in hierarchical cultures where speaking up is seen as disrespect.
But hear me out.
If your value is respect, and your boss keeps interrupting or putting you down in meetings, you can say something like:
“I’ve noticed that I feel discouraged when my ideas are dismissed without discussion. One of my key motivators is feeling respected. Can we talk about how I can contribute more effectively?”
You’re not accusing. You’re inviting a solution.
Now, will this work with a tyrant? No. But many bosses simply aren’t aware. Some of them will appreciate the maturity. And even if they don’t change, you’ll have the clarity that you tried.
I once told a manager that I work best with autonomy and that daily check-ins made me feel distrusted. He backed off. We both won.
Step 4: If It’s Truly a Values Violation, Start Planning an Exit
Let’s be honest—some situations can’t be fixed with a polite conversation.
If your company rewards dishonesty, tolerates harassment, promotes the lazy, or crushes all creativity—then no, you probably can’t live your values there.
But you don’t need to pull a dramatic “I quit!” moment.
You need a quiet, strategic exit plan.
- Update your resume
- Start networking
- Build a financial cushion
- Upskill
Even if it takes you 12 months, you’re not stuck anymore. You’re in motion. You’re taking back control.
You’re not quitting because you hate your job. You’re quitting because you love your values.
Step 5: Know Which Values Are Non-Negotiable
This is important. Not every value deserves a career change.
Some are core. Some are flexible.
For me, authenticity, respect, freedom, meaningful work, and well-being are non-negotiable. If any of these are violated consistently, I walk.
But other values like fun, creativity, or family I can bend on those depending on the season of life.
You need to know your line in the sand.
Because in collectivist cultures, we’re trained to compromise, often too much. We stay in toxic environments because we’re scared of conflict or change. Or we’re told, “That’s just how it is.”
But values are like oxygen. You don’t miss them until you can’t breathe.
Bonus: Use the “3-Bucket Test”
Here’s a quick tool I teach in workshops. Think of your current environment and ask:
- Tolerable → Is it uncomfortable but manageable for now?
- Negotiable → Can I influence or improve the situation?
- Intolerable → Is this killing my motivation, health, or dignity?
If it’s in bucket 1 or 2, you stay and tweak. If it’s in bucket 3, you plan your way out, smartly and silently.
Final Thought
You don’t need a perfect job. You don’t need a boss who agrees with your every belief. You don’t need to live all your values, all the time.
In fact each of the above is almost impossible.
But if you’re living none of them, you’re dying a little every day.
Start small. Live one value more deeply this week. Speak up once. Say no once. Choose your truth once.
Because the real problem isn’t that your company doesn’t share your values.
The real problem is that you’ve forgotten you’re allowed to.